Help....I'm stuck

In case anyone is wondering why I haven't been posting my preop diet weight and current weight it is because it is ......THE SAME!!  Boo!  I'm stalled.  Not worried about it too much though.  The primary reason for the preop is to eat healthier/veru minimal carbs to push the body in Ketosis in order to help the liver shrink.  Much healthier way to go into surgery. 

I have 2 more days before surgery so will keep trucking along.  This stall is EXACTLY why I am having surgery.  My body doesn't lose weight that easy.  Trust me!  Don't need to hear anyone's advice on what I need to do as if I haven't ever eaten chicken, green beans, and exercised till I puked. Been there, done that.

I did take my preop full body pics and face pics.....oh myyyyyyyyyy gosh.  I wore a sports bra and tight leggings that came to my knee.  HORRID.  I mean, I am cute with clothes on.  I am fat in those clothes but I hide the mess underneath pretty well.  In that sports bra and tight leggings.....there is NO hiding the truth.  However, knowing that is the last time I will EVER look like that and feel this bad, tired, achy, and sick makes me not even worry about how I look in those pics. 

I created that monster and now it is time to lay it to rest! I do need to get someone to do my measurements ASAP. I am an inches loser.....I will drop some crazy inches before I make any magic happen on the scale.

The Weight of the Nation

HBO has a wonderful 4 part series about the epidemic of obesity in the United States.  If you need any verification that what you are doing regarding a bariatric surgery to lose the weight and to be HEALTHIER.....this series would do just that.  Of course, it talks about the bad habits we have in our country etc etc but I didn't take any of that personal.  I own my behaviors.  I would have had struggled with obesity if I had to live off of bread and water.  However, my bad habits just pushed me into a downward spiral of an unhealthy life and body.  This series on HBO was motivating to me.  I beleive you can watch this online even if you don't have HBO on cable.

The Weight of the Nation
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Freebies!!!!

The most important part of this life changing decision to have weight loss surgery is to make healthy life CHANGES after.  BeliteWeight has does a fabulous job of preparing me for my preop and postop diet by giving me the information I needed to do further research on the foods, proteins, liquids, etc that would work best for me.  Like I mentioned in a previous post, I research everything before making a decision.  In all of my digging around the Internet I came across the post from a sleever on a support site that recommended contacting companies and asking them for FREE samples of their products to try before you purchase.

 If any of you have shopped online or gone into GNC and other nutrition stores you know how crazy expensive protein powders, clear protein drinks, vitamins etc are.  So you know how nice it would be to get some products to try first before paying $60 for a 3 pound container of protein powder that tastes......well yucky. 

So, I grabbed the freebie and sample horse by the reigns and took off.   I spent hours online requesting samples, coupons, etc.  Here are my suggestions of what worked best for me:

1. Make a list or get your info sheet from your doctor, program, nutritionist etc of the "recommended" brands, products, types of foods/liquids/vitamins etc you will need.  I used my list from Belite Weight and 2 other resource lists I found. 

2.  I went online to the websites of all the brands, manufacturers, companies, etc.  Surprisingly, many of them had an actual link to request samples or coupons.  Some of them required that you "like" them on Facebook.  Easy breezy.

3. If the websites did not offer a sample, then I would go to the contact info and email someone to make the request.  I simply explained that I was having Gastric Sleeve surgery soon, noted that their brand had been recommended by my doctor/nutritionist/surgery coordinator etc and would like to try the product before making a purchase.  Almost all of them emailed me back within a day or two and either offered a sample, coupon, or put me on a list for future samples.

3. I did general searches on Google/Bing for "FREE or SAMPLE.....protein, low carb, bariatric, etc etc".  That was fun and fabulous!!  Found a lot of goodies this way.  Just take time and play around with the wording of your Internet searches.  I can save you some time and tell you not to search for "Free Protein" because you will get tons of links for carb-free, gluten-free etc.  Do "Free Protein Sample" etc. 

4.  A lot of my searches took me to "freebie/sample" websites.  I didn't join any to get the free samples.  I would just find one that didn't require me to fill out a 30 minute form to get to the samples.  The same freebies are on most of the sites.

Tips:
-Don't request samples you can't use.  I made sure the nutritional value, proteins, carbs etc was exactly what I needed either for preop, postop or both. But....don't forget that you will not be ingesting full servings of some of these proteins. 

-Only make one request per sample/company.  Leave some goodies for others.

-Be sure to respond to any messages you receive from a person, company, etc thanking them for the freebie or just for their response.  I am sure they get 100 requests a day so I am super appreciative of the time they take to respond to me even if they cannot offer me a sample. 

The freebies and samples I have received so far:
-4 pack of full size packets of Muscle Milk powder
 (Vanilla, Graham Cracker, Chocolate, and Cookies and Cream)
-Awesome sampler pack from Atkins (3 bars, coupons, Carb counter, etc.)
-4 protein powder sticks from Mr. Olympia Ronnie Cole
 (for Bodybuilders but you can make this work)
-Five....yes 5 $1 off coupons for EAS products. (My fav shakes)

*Ebay has also been a great source of bargains for me.  You need to know what you are getting in DETAIL.  For example Isomax and Isomax Zero Carb are totally different.  We (sleevers) need the zero carb for our clear diet.  Just know what you need, check for expiration dates and feedback and you can get good deals.  For example, I got 72 Atkins bars (not expired) for my preop diet for $50 (she also sent me 4 Crystal Lite or Propel Zero drink powder sticks, tons of Atkins coupons, and some sugar free candy) and I got 5 NEW packets of Unjury Unflavored Protein for $5. Unjury packs are about $2 per pack and that doesn't include shipping.  I didn't pay shipping for either auction.  These were awesome deals.  I def did not want to buy a big container of the Unjury Unflavored until I tried it.  Here is a pic of the packs I got on Ebay. 

Unjury also has an AWESOME deal on a Starter Pack.  They do not give samples but this starter pack is totally worth the $21.20 you'll pay.

Thank you and I'll pass the burgers

Today is Memorial Day.  I come from a long line of heros.  Almost all of them have served in one of our wars over time.  ALL of them fought for our country and they all made it back alive; some with lifelong injuries but alive nonetheless.  So I hope everyone took time to not only remember and thank a US solider today but take the time to educate your children on why we have a Memorial Day. 

For most, today is a day with family and friends.  A trip to the beach or lake, tables of food and a grill burning from sun up to sun down.  I LOVE LOVE anything cooked on a grill and certainly don't ever need a reason to have a buffet style grill-fest. 

Initially, I didn't think I'd even care if I didn't partake in the gorging festivities of today.  Didn't really think I'd even miss having a cookout with all the fixins and a refreshing adult beverage.  But I avoided the whole thing because I really didn't even want the temptation.  4 days until I arrive in Juarez for surgery and I am not messing anything up.  Then.....I woke up today.  I knew what the majority of the country would be doing today.  I could smell hamburgers on the grill as if it was right outside my door, I could picture tables full of salads, sides, bread and sweets and I wanted to be right in the middle of it all.  I knew what I was missing. But am I really "missing" anything??

I was dying to go to a local BBQ place here in Birmingham that is the BEST called Jim n Nicks. That would have been a bad bad idea for the diet.  BAD!! So I got creative on what I could make for dinner to stay within my pre-op diet regs and satisfy my cravings.  I ended up making baked chicken wings with seasonings no sauce, baked onion rings (FABULOUS and yes a little bit of breading), fresh turnip greens, watermelon, and homemade sugar-free lemonaid.  I was so full so quickly.  Satisfied!!

I give myself a big high-five for this today.  These are the type of decisions and changes I will need to make the rest of my life in order to be healthy (with or without Gastric Sleeve surgery).  I'm proud of me for NOT giving in today......but damn my whole neighborhood smells like BBQ~~

Oooppsss

Didn't lose any weight when I weighed this morning.  Didn't gain but didn't lose. I know the pre-op diet isn't about losing weight but maintaining Ketosis.  I ate too much yesterday.  Ate healthy just ate too much.  Baby steps.  The apps I put on my phone have been wonderful......Calorie Counter and TrackerSavvy.  I have an Android Smartphone.  Both apps are free and super user friendly.  Especially doing the pre-op diet when protein and net carbs are so critical (Calorie Counter). 

Two mistakes I am making are: not eating enough fruit and veggies (got a little plugged up and had bad tummy ache) and not eating enough chewable protein (chicken, turkey etc.).  I think I need to chew.  Psychological but feel the need to chew.  I want warm comfort food too so I need to make some warm, healthy proteins to satisfy this need.  I will not be chewing anything for a few weeks post-op so should chew, chew, chew while I can.

Water wonderful water......

I get better at this new eating lifestyle every day.  I will preface this by saying it is the weekend, I am off work and I had no distractions.  Not saything that makes it easy to stay on track but it does make it easier no doubt.

I am not doing anything I didn't know already.  No sodas, increase water intake, increase fruit and veggie intake and keep the carbs low and the proteins lean. But like many of us who struggle with our weight or health, I didn't follow it. Every single time I cut out the sodas and increase the water intake I am amazed how much BETTER I feel all over.  My tummy feels flatter, I don't feel so sluggish, my skin feels great and looks healthy.  But I always retreat back to the bad habits.  Vicious cycle isn't it.

I'm not making light of the 7 pounds I have lost this week but everytime I cut out the sugar drinks and sodas and the carbs, I drop weight.  Water weight but weight nonetheless.  I'll take it and keep trucking forward. 

I am still not doing good scheduling my meals etc.  I am really not craving too many meats.  But wanting that warm, comfort feeling meat can give me.  Shrimp didn't give me that warm and cozy feeling yesterday even though I do love it.  Of course....I go run one errand today and decide to grocery shop for 2 hours to get my post-surgery diet foods/liquids etc.  Ended up eating Subway.  No chips and no soda but Subway nonetheless.  I think I suck at this! Just need to focus on what the surgeon needs me to do this week and not get so hung  up on it being about the weight right now. 

Today's intake:
3 cooked eggs on a lowcarb wrap
Atkins shake (1)
Atkins snack bar (2)
an entire cantelope (well the entire precut bowl from the store)
Subway ham and veggie on white (6in)
Banana
Water, crystal lite, passion fruit tea (splenda)....something all day

I'll take 3 please!

After all my whining and concern yesterday for the mistakes I made on preop diet Day 1......I lost 3 pounds!!  I still feel soooooo hungry constantly. But it is easily soothed by eating/drinking something on my preop diet "yes" list.  I really try to drink drink drink.  Especially when I am or "think" I am hungry. 

Today's intake:

2 cooked eggs on a low carb wrap
sliced strawberries
greek yogurt mixed with sugar free caramel syrup
boiled shrimp
mozzerella cheese stick
apple slices
homemade pickles
carrot chips
greek yogurt (Taziki) dip
Atkins bar or shakes for snack (in order to get protein too)

Drank something all day long: water, Crystal lite, Tazo Passion fruit tea with fresh lemon (YUM....tastes like Starbucks)

I think I am eating too much.  I found an app I am going to download to help me keep up with food intake.  I "think" I am doing ok but I have thought that for years and was swimming up stream. 

Easier said than done.....

I started my preop diet the other day a little earlier than the doc asked me to.  Not 100% but really increased my water intake, stopped all sodas and caffine, stopped taking Aleve (LOVE Aleve), and slowly decreased my carb intake.  Today, I started my preop diet "for real".  It really wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.  Today was also my first full day out of school for the summer as well.  Having the day to figure it all out without distraction was wonderful.  I was well prepared with a stocked kitchen, large insulated cups for my ice water, and all the notes I had taken to refer to if needed.  I did great. 

Then.....I left to run one errand which turned into 4 hours of errands (I do this all the time).  Didn't take any of my food and finished my ice water pretty quickly in the car early on.  So,  I ran through the Taco Bell drive through and got 2 Chicken Fresco soft tacos and an XXL water.  I drank the water in big huge gulps and fast.  Downed the "healthy" chicken tacos.  Within 20 minutes I was soooooooo sick.  What went in came right back out....2x's.  Drank too much water too fast.  Lesson learned!

I am supposed to be practicing taking small bites, chewing and chewing and chewing, NOT drinking when I eat and portion control.  Didn't do too well with that today but I did do great considering it was my first day. 

I did feel hungry a lot.  Not sure if that is psychological or from lack of heavy carbs like crackers, bread, chips, rice etc.  I just tried to eat something small but satisfying that met the requirements of the preop diet.  Made sure to get in my fruits too.  But primarily focused on keeping those carbs low and those lean proteins high.  I felt like I was eating every hour and didn't love that so much.

The biggest thing I noticed about myself today is.....BEHAVIOR!  My eating behaviors.  I was out running errands.  I constantly caught myself doing things like passing my fav Mexican restaurant and thinking I can come back on the way home and pick something up for dinner,  stopping to get gas and wanting to run into the gas station to get a soda and snack, or passing a fabulous bakery and thinking I must stop to treat myself or grabbing a soda out of the cooler in the check-out line at Walmart.  It was constant every where I went.  When I would stop and think about whether I really wanted or needed something, I didn't!! Just habit to do that.  Just a bad bad habit.  Will be interesting to see how I adapt this behavior over time.

School is Out for Summer!

I am a teacher!  I LOVE LOVE my job.  I anxiously anticipate the beginning of the school year every August, the smell of crayons and glue, decorating my classroom, getting all my cute little files and plans in place and then.......May comes and I have the same anxious anticipation for summer break.  Here in Alabama that day was today! I am officially on Summer Break until school starts in late August.  Clearly I am most excited about my upcoming surgery. I am thankful I am off for a few months to have time to heal, plan, and learn to live my new life.  Noone at my school knows what I am doing so I cannot wait to see the response when only 1/2 of me shows up in August. 

I already know the first question out of everyone's mouth will be. "Oh my gosh, "what" did you do to lose the weight"?  That is just what girls do.  We all want to know the secret, magic, miracle that worked for someone.  Fortunately, I am super strong personality so I will have no problem proudly standing there and saying, "I made a decision to take control of my health".  Yes, I will say I had surgery.

I am a terrible liar.  My father says I could never be a politician.  It isn't that I am bad at lying really.  I just do not like to do it.  It is hurtful to others and gives others a reason to think they cannot trust you.  Plus,  this decision is NOT something I am ashamed of at all.  I am more ashamed that I am so unhealthy and out of shape. 

I will be prepared for the questions about Mexico.  I assume people will think I had a 10 min job in the back of someone's guest room in a run down shack on the dirt streets of Mexico.  The great part of me being educated at the PhD level is not only to I know how to read, understand and seek out valid research and information but I also know to be prepared with an arsonal of information to share with the masses.......especially the naysayers! Bring it!!

Pre-Op Diet.......here we go!

Stopped all soft drinks on Saturday and started the preop diet on Monday and already down 7 pounds in 4 days. Amazed how much better my tummy feels. Not so full and bloated. On the plane to El Paso in exactly 10 days to Juarez.

Here are my tips that have helped me successfully start the pre-op diet so far:

1. I did tons of research on pre-op diets. Read up on the how and why and most importantly made sure I really understood the "number" limitations (calorie, fat, net carbs, protein etc.). I took notes. Made sure I went to every single website of the recommended brands of protein shakes, bars, liquids etc. Spent countless hours comparing price and content. Sounds like a lot I know but.....has made for a very smooth transition into my new eating lifestyle.

2. Portion control is going to be critical for the rest of my life. Suggestions on surgery sites, blogs, support groups etc said to use the small kid size plates, bowls and utensils. I was actually excited about that. I am a teacher of young children (K-2) and super girly so I couldn't wait to have cute kids dishes. I have found awesome deals at Target (cutest dishes in the $1.00 bins), Walmart (kid utensils: 2 for .96 cent) etc. My other crazy obsession is Bento Boxes. This hip Asian craze has landed in the US and boy they are cute. But for me it is also about being easy, practical, and appropriate for my new lifestyle. I think when you see what I am talking about Here are some sites that sell the Bento Boxes and accessories:

Laptop Lunches

Bento USA

Ebay (My fav place to shop for Bento things)

From-japan-with-love (Overseas but great for ideas)

Now if you checked out the sites you noticed how pricey these little cute lunch boxes can be. I'm practical and resourceful. After all my research on the Bento concept and see how costly something so basic could be. I spent an hour at Target last nite making my own Bento box using cute little colorful containers from the $1 bins and the perfect length, height and width rubbermade containers. So fun. Have used them the past 2 days and has helped me plan and ensure I have the right portions of proteins, fruits, etc. Very cute too. I will post pics of my "Faux Bento" by the weekend.

3. My life is super busy, stressful and unpredictable. Hence part of the reason I struggle with my weight. So.....what works for me is precut, prepackaged items. Especially fruits and veggies. I know exactly how many calories, fat, protein, net carbs etc that I am getting. more expensive but less stress for me.

4. I shopped around and did TONS of comparison to try to get what I needed yet at the best price. I was able to get 75 mixed Atkins bars (NOT expired) on Ebay for $50. This also included several coupons, a carb counter, etc. GNC is EXPENSIVE. Shop and compare there as well. I was able to get "most" of what I needed at Target, Walmart and Ebay. I really really do want to try out the liquid clear drinks at GNC (Isolate Clear Zero I think??).

5. I spend hours watching testimonials on YouTube of all places. That is how I learned about BeLiteWeight. I also watched several sleevers pre and post journey and learned a lot. One of my fav is a guy who actually tastes his Isolate Clear drinks one at a time on the video so he can tell which ones he liked. He recommended the Apple and Orange flavors. So that is where I will start when I do finally get them at GNC.

6. Greek Yogurt has been my FAV! I already liked it before I started this journey. So wasn't a bad addition into my plan at all and such a super easy way to get a lot of protein. Yesterday I measured out my portion of the yogurt, added my serving of vanilla flavored protein powder and sliced fresh strawberries on top. Was my lunch but tasted like Cheesecake! Delish!!

Will post more as I continue on my pre op diet the next 10 days!!

Things I will NOT miss with my new life:

Now that I KNOW that my life will change forever after June 2nd, I am constantly thinking of things that I will no longer have to deal with (because I also made lifestyle changes post-surgery).






I will NOT miss:
-being tired all the time
-anxiety and insomnia
-my back hurting all the time
-getting sick so easily
-buying new clothes all the time because the ones I have are too tight or just to make me feel better about myself
-the look of disappointment on my family members' faces when they see me and I am still overweight or even more overweight than I was last time they saw me
-the look of disappointment on a blind date's face the first time they meet me
-being insecure meeting people for the first time, in interviews, or in general
-FOR THE LOVE no more lectures from people about what I need to do, or that I need to lose weight or that I am not healthy (No kidding people!!)
-my fat stomach (that was the last part of me to get fat.....and it was my rock bottom)
-granny panties
-big ugly bras
-sagging boobs
-stretch marks (never had those EVER until about 3 months ago) (may get worse huh?)
-tight seats on rides, in the movies, etc
-being the person in crisis management training who doesn't get to participate because I am too heavy for anyone to practice with (embarassing)
-being the fat friend
-being the one everyone thinks they need to "supervise" for portion control, getting seconds, or drinking a DAMN soda at holiday dinners or family time
-being insecure at the beach or my lakehouse
-out of shape, out of breath, out of control

And I will really NOT miss being "just a pretty face"

Now that I KNOW that my life will change forever after June 2nd, I am constantly thinking of the ways my life MUST change and therefore will change for the better.  I just think life will be weird because being overweight is all I have ever known (even when I wasn't overweight). Even though I have gone through phases (lifetime of phases), the weight never came off no matter how hard tried.  I'd get frustrated and go back to my drug of choice (bad food and no exercise).  I think each day will be a lesson, a trial, an expereince but anyone that knows me knows that I am at tough cookie (ha....literally) and will take this on with 100% dedication.




I think I will miss:
-Ice cold coke
-Food off the grill
-Pizza with everything on it whenever I want it
-ordering take out
-the occasional vodka drink (and I never drink so this thought is funny but true)
-my clothes (the one thing that made me feel fabulous sometimes)
-shopping all the time because it made me feel better
-gummy bears
-tailgating grazing (Roll Tide)
-overeating because it is my drug of choice
-eating and drinking at the same time (it is a sleever rule to allow your food to stay in the tummy longer and to keep from puking it back up)

See the pattern here! That is why I am in the situation I am in now. I'm sure I will add more to this list as time goes by.

Destination Mexico

I have been working with a local (Alabama) Bariatric Surgery group for over a year to plan my gastric surgery.  I had to do tons of paperwork, order tons of records, document, document and document some more.  Finally I was at a point where I was ready to make the commitment and......my 7 month doctor supervised diet had EXPIRED!  So that meant I'd being paying about $15,000 out of pocket.  I refused to wait another 7 months so I was willing to make that financial sacrifice.

Prior to all this drama and disappointment I had been educating myself about different surgery options, pre and post surgery lifestyle and diet, benefits and risks, etc etc.  I had not just made the impulsive decision to have surgery.  I had been working with a Bariatric consultant for months that worked for the surgeon that would be doing my surgery here locally (he also had taken out my Gall Bladder 3 years ago).  She had actually secretly told me to go with the Gastric Sleeve instead of LapBand.  So I did more reserach, watched videos of "Sleevers" on YouTube, and read testimonials every single nite.  I also had several friends I confided in  who have had different weight loss surgeries (LapBand, Gastric Bypass etc).  These ladies (and one guy) were able to give me a really good picture of life before and after surgery.  My point being I had done my reserach and I knew exactly what I was getting in to and I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

About 3 weeks ago while watching Gastric Sleeve testimonials on YouTube, I discovered a video from a young lady who had surgery in Mexico through a company called BeLiteWeight.  I spent 2 more days researching this company and discovered this was an option I wanted to explore.

I filled out the form for more information online and a BeLiteWeight representative called me back the next morning.  Her name is Joyce and she has been FABULOUS!  She is my "Personal Patient Facilitator" and she is there anytime I have a question.  She will be here for me the entire process.  She is also a gastric surgery friend and understands everything I am and will experience. She gave me more information and support regarding the procedure than I had gotten from the surgeon's office in alomst a year.  So deal was done and surgery was scheduled.  I will officially have Gastric Sleeve in Juarez, Mexico on June 2nd! 

I have no fears, no anxiety, no worries and no concerns!  And I am saving more than half of what I would have paid here in the states.  Everything happens for a reason and I am so thankful I discovered the BeLiteWeight organization!

And so it begins.......

Hi, my name is Ashley and I am a compulsive fat chic with a pretty face.  I say that as if I am in an AA meeting facing a circle of others who have not embraced the beauty of being overweight.  I have struggled with my weight since I hit puberty around 12 years old.  Now I am at 40 years of age and have spent thousands of dollars on diets, personal trainers, gym memberships, prescriptions, and doctors.  I have been teased, tortured, dumped, confronted, bribed, denied, rejected, judged, and disappointed because of my weight as long as I can remember.  I really cannot "picture" myself as a skinny chic.  Truly cannot even imagine what I would look like.  Like many of you who will read this, I have always been told how pretty I am.  Woah...let me take that back, I have always been told how pretty my "face" is.  Those exact words....."You have such a pretty face".  Yes, I know it could be worse and but after years of hearing this it really isn't so flattering. 

I have always been very active, love to work out, travel, the outdoors, and have a hard time just sitting around the house doing nothing.  Like I said before, this all started as soon as I merged into puberty so I was too young to have any bad habits that contribute to being overweight. This came as no surprise to anyone in my family though.  Many of the females in my family have struggled with their weight as well.  Some of those family members are overweight and others have taken drastic and unhealthy measures to keep from being fat which is just as bad.   My OB GYN, who has also treated all the females on my mothers side of the family, looked at me several years ago and said, "Ashley, you are swimming upsteam genetically when it comes to your weight." Don't worry.  He doesn't mean that in a rude way at all.  He has been my best friend when it comes to talking to someone about my weight.  He always tells me how beautiful and smart and successful I am.  He also is realistic and reminds me I do need to lose weight. He has seen and documented every single diet, attempt, loss and gain I have had over the past 15 years.  He hears my disappointment every year I am there to see him.  Last year he told me I would very likely be a good candidate for weight loss surgery. So my journey began.......