And so it begins.......

Hi, my name is Ashley and I am a compulsive fat chic with a pretty face.  I say that as if I am in an AA meeting facing a circle of others who have not embraced the beauty of being overweight.  I have struggled with my weight since I hit puberty around 12 years old.  Now I am at 40 years of age and have spent thousands of dollars on diets, personal trainers, gym memberships, prescriptions, and doctors.  I have been teased, tortured, dumped, confronted, bribed, denied, rejected, judged, and disappointed because of my weight as long as I can remember.  I really cannot "picture" myself as a skinny chic.  Truly cannot even imagine what I would look like.  Like many of you who will read this, I have always been told how pretty I am.  Woah...let me take that back, I have always been told how pretty my "face" is.  Those exact words....."You have such a pretty face".  Yes, I know it could be worse and but after years of hearing this it really isn't so flattering. 

I have always been very active, love to work out, travel, the outdoors, and have a hard time just sitting around the house doing nothing.  Like I said before, this all started as soon as I merged into puberty so I was too young to have any bad habits that contribute to being overweight. This came as no surprise to anyone in my family though.  Many of the females in my family have struggled with their weight as well.  Some of those family members are overweight and others have taken drastic and unhealthy measures to keep from being fat which is just as bad.   My OB GYN, who has also treated all the females on my mothers side of the family, looked at me several years ago and said, "Ashley, you are swimming upsteam genetically when it comes to your weight." Don't worry.  He doesn't mean that in a rude way at all.  He has been my best friend when it comes to talking to someone about my weight.  He always tells me how beautiful and smart and successful I am.  He also is realistic and reminds me I do need to lose weight. He has seen and documented every single diet, attempt, loss and gain I have had over the past 15 years.  He hears my disappointment every year I am there to see him.  Last year he told me I would very likely be a good candidate for weight loss surgery. So my journey began.......