Queen of the kitchen

I've started making Sunday my day to cook.  Here are my adventures today (my attempt to bulk up my intake too).

Lunch:  I totally made this up but it was PERFECT!!
Homemade red beans and turkey sausage (hearty but a lot of protein).  I sauteed some diced onions in a pan with olive oil.  Added 2 cans of kidney beans and 2 links of turkey sausage (sliced).  Added a little over a cup of water.  Salt, pepper and some cajun seasoning.  Mix it all together and brought it all to a boil. While boiling I mashed up some of the beans in the pan.  (I had read somewhere that mashing up about 2-3oz of the beans helps make the thick gravy).  Brought it down to a simmer and put the lid on.  Cooked about 20 minutes this way, lid off, took it back up to a boil and DONE!! Was perfect and a super low fat, high protein meal.  Add rice if you want to. Rice makes me tooooooo full.  I prefer to get the protein in.

Dinner:  Bangin Good Shrimp over Asian Slaw
Click the link above for the recipe I used tonight.

-I do NOT like mayo and wish I would have thought to swap the mayo for greek yogurt. Would have been healthier.  I didn't love the mayo at all but that is just a personal preference. 

-I bought an Asian Slaw bag at Publix grocery store and it was YUMMY.  It had the slaw, asian ginger dressing, almond slivers and some chow mein sticks.  Ended up eating the slaw and only one shrimp.  Didn't like the mayo in case you didn't know...ha ha

Here is what my dish looked like tonight.   I only eat off of salad size plates at home now. I ate one shrimp and almost all the slaw. 

Circle of Life

This week has been a trying week for my family. We are saddened by the loss of one of my grandmothers and the potential loss of an aunt who got sick, was hospitalized in ICU and has now been taken off of life support.   I am more than blessed with an amazing family. Was really nice to spend time with them all the past few day even under such sad circumstances. The quote to the left is for my grandmother.  She would really not want us to be sad. 

Having 2 family members in the hospital and one untimately passing away over a one week period meant a lot of traveling up and down the interstate, lunches and dinners out in restaurants, funeral food etc. I really tried to make healthy choices and wasn't too disappointed in my choices. We ate at Olive Garden one day for lunch and I had one bowl of the salad and a bowl of soup. Can't remember the name of the soup but it had some meat and veggies.....ha ha.  NO breadsticks. Had a few triscuits and cheese for a snack then ate out at a chinese restaurant for dinner. I was super nervous about eating out chinese and had already decided there was a good chance I was grabbing something else on the way home. Fortunately this chinese restaurant had "lettuce wraps". I survived.

A few other not so great "choices" throughout the weekend were Zaxbys (chicken fingers, fries) and birthday cake for my mother's birthday.  Today is Sunday and the first time I have weighed in a few days.  I was nervous and had pretty much decided there was a VERY good chance I had gained weight since I had literally eaten more in the past 3 days than I had in a VERY long time and had not exercised at all. 

However.....I lost 2 more pounds.  This just supported my theory about stalling so much lately.  I really do not think I am eating enough.  I am eating.  I eat (drink) breaksfast, always a SUPER healthy lunch and dinner with snacks in between but I really just graze lunch and dinner.  I am not hungry during the school day.  I am busy.  I am more hungry at nite but try to not overload myself after I get home.   I have been focusing so much on fruit and veggies supported by some sort of protein.  I had gotten worried that this was not enough.  Crazy as it sounds.....you really do have to eat to lose weight AND to lose it the right way.

I have noticed I am kinda tired in the afternoons lately and I am losing a lot of hair. The hair loss is expected at the 3 month mark but still want to try to keep that from happening if possible.  Now that I see how much I ate all weekend, didn't have time to exercise at all and still lost weight tells me I need to reevaluate (and very likely need to calculate) my intake better.  I do not keep up with the exact calories, fat, carb or protein.  I just know I keep it VERY balanced and never ever bad.  I think I need to bulk up on some calories for sure.  Going to make an appointment to get bloodwork done soon as well.  Need to make sure I am not missing any important nutrients that can easily be fixed with a vitamin.

Not complaining at all though....I am 3 months and 3 weeks post-op today.  I have lost 57 pounds.  Everyone that saw me this week at my grandmother's service was so kind and supportive about my weightloss.  That is a always a boost.   Life is good!!

Top Chef

If you (my dear followers) remember......I spent hours searching, finding, saving, printing and filing Sleeve friendly recipes into a cute little binder.  I have made several smoothies from the binder (not that it takes a rocket scientist to mix a smoothie), got a few ideas and would get all hungry for a certain recipe and not have the ingredients.  Also not driving to the store at that moment to get them. 

There are some rules after Sleeve surgery that really apply before surgery too.  One of those rules is to keep the fridge and pantry stocked with healthy options.  Key is to keep it stocked period.  Just like before surgery, fast food or delivery will win every time.  If you have unhealthy options in the house, you are more likely to choose those over the healthy goodies.  Never fails that this will happen.  The rule applies across the board whether you had a bariatric surgery or not.  I think the worst thing I keep in the house is crackers. 

I have found several "sleeve" shopping lists online.  Eggface.....a quite famous bariatric surgery blogger has a Pantry Essentials list on her web page.  I have also found several post-op shopping lists online that help me stay focused and really help me remember what I need to keep in the kitchen.  This is my fav Grocery List.

Finally went to the grocery store and was able to cook something I have been craving.....Chicken Enchiladas.  I will give you the recipe I used from Barix Clinic Recipes. (My fav recipe place by the way).

 

Chicken Enchiladas         (PS-yes, I can eat chicken much better now!!)

Submitted by JoAnn M.

6 flour tortillas, 8” size
1 cup baked chicken breast, cut up into small pieces
1 can cream of mushroom soup, 98% fat free
¾ cup cheddar cheese, shredded
1 cup sour cream, fat free
In a large bowl mix soup and sour cream.
In a 9 x 9 pan place a small amount of soup mixture.
In each tortilla, spread a thin layer of soup mixture, chicken, and cheese. Roll up
and place in pan. After all tortillas are filled and in pan, pour remaining mixture
over the top. Bake at 350 until cheese is melted, approximately 30 minutes.
Makes 6 servings.

Here are some revisions I made for ME!!
-I used Toufayan Low Carb wraps.  I only used 2 but these are big! Not a huge fan of low carb wraps but doing what is best for me.
-I used canned chicken.  1 can. 
-I used plain Fage greek yogurt instead of sour cream.  Tastes the same to me, you get some protein and much healthier.   (It cooked just fine as well)
-Once I put a little bit of the soup/yogurt mix on the bottom of the pan, I set some of the mix aside in a smaller bowl to put on top of the enchiladas before cooking.  I went ahead and mixed the chicken in the mix. I like my enchiladas creamy. 
-I used 2% cheese.  Lower fat but melts much better than fat-free cheese.
-AFTER I made all this and put it all together and was ready to go in oven, I decided some green chilis would be delish in this.  I had some (because I keep my kitchen well stocked) and just sprinkled them over the top and mixed them in with the mixture on top.  I did sprinkle more cheese on top. 

Everything came out perfect.  I did have to cook it waayyyyy longer than the 30 minutes but I made big fat enchiladas. Cranked the oven up to 400 degrees.   My serving size for dinner was about the size of a debit card and about 2 inches high.  Wasn't able to finish that but I did get my enchilada fix.  Will eat some tomorrow nite and freeze the rest.  Would be super yummy with a side salad. 

I am still learning how to make small portions when I cook. It is just me and I have a walnut sized tummy now.  I don't think about it until after I make something and have 8 pounds left.  Hoping this will freeze ok???  I waste A LOT of food right now as I am learning and I do NOT like wasting the food or money. Serioulsy waste a lot.  My confession for the nite~~

 

Fast Food.....Slow Death

I'm sitting here tonight reading the latest copy of Fitness magazine.  I have TONS of magazines to catch up on but started with my stack of Fitness magazines tonight because inspiration is never a bad thing.   As I am reading an article tonight about a 24 year old beautiful girl who lost 100 pounds, I am struck by the very first sentence of her story.  It says, "I had always been heavy, thanks to a FAST FOOD habit and a sedentary lifestyle".  Amen sista!!!  Amen.

Amazingly, I hear stories like this all the time.  Recently had a sub for my Zumba class and she told her weight gain and weight loss story. Frist let me say this chic has a Bootcamp hard body and soul.  She was fab but she told us it wasn't always like that.  She had a child with a serious medical condition post birth.  This mom spent her mornings and nites at the hospital with A LOT of fast food in between.  She taught during the day.  All her time at the hospital was sedentary. She said the stress drew her to the fast food as much the need for something fast and easy.  Again.....been there, done that.  For me, the PhD program was my sick baby.

My point is if these stories are so common and consistent in nature, then there is some validity to it (sound like a researcher don't I).  I really can totally support this claim.  Like both these ladies, I already had the potential to have weight issues to start with.  Genetics are a BITCH!!  But, I didn't have to let genetics win and I did.  I do not expect to be skinny from the surgery.  Like I have said many times in this blog, I didn't have the surgery to be "skinny".  I had the surgery to force myself to be healthier.  Losing weight was only one benefit of the surgery.  If I say this once, I will say it 100 more times.......being skinny does not mean you are healthy.  I had to stop all my bad habits and make changes to have a better me.  I wanted to be better inside the most.  Didn't matter what I was on the outside if my insides were rotting away from the unhealthy filth I had clogged it up with.  

I used to roll my eyes at the claims about how horrible fast food is for you.  It had not killed me yet. I didn't "think" it made me feel that bad.  I just didn't know it was killing me slowly.  That is one part of my "pre-op" life I do not miss. Worst I have had since surgery is 2 chicken sandwiches from Chick-Fil-A over a 3 month period.  Fries once and a few tater tots.  That is IT!!  As a side note, one CFA sandwich is 4 different meals for me.  I have watched the documentaries "Supersize Me", "Fast Food Nation" and  "Weight of the Nation".  Highly recommend you watch both.  I think I have said that before in the blog but NO JOKE.  These are both quite eye opening.  Was even more motivating for me. But, unless you are ready to make major lifestyle changes, you won't take the information in those docs serious.

Amazingly, people feed their children, even babies McDonalds etc.  I have friends who do and yes, calling them out. I see them let their children drink sodas (even diet which is WORSE) and take them out to eat all the time.  Mindblowing to me because it is so not fair to the child.  I do not remember EVER eating fast food growing up.  We occasionally went OUT for pizza and that was a special nite.  Not saying we ate perfectly nutritionally balanced meals every nite but I really do not remember eating out at all.  Was a special occasion and a big deal.  Now I see parents have a big deal (big tantrum) on their hands if their child doesn't get treats and snacks and cartoons 24/7 on TV.  And for the record, BOTH of my parents worked full time so that is not an excuse for not cooking for your children.  I made the personal choice in COLLEGE to start eating fast food and it was downhill from there.  Children cannot make those choices for themselves.  Like anything else, healthy habits have to be taught.  McDonalds in front of never ending cartoons on TV is a just setting a child up for a lifetime of health issues.  The foundation will be weak. Can't build on that.  Carry on.......

I am so proud of my brother and his wife for raising my nephews to have healthy eating habits.  Not just foods but healthy habits. VERY healthy, whole, fresh, and home cooked meals.  My littles are so lucky to have parents who care enough to work so hard to make sure they eat so healthy!!  My littles are really lucky to have an aunt who chose to take control of her own health so she can see them grow up and become something fabulous!!

I am far from perfect with my eating now.  I am still learning how to eat, balance, nourish, fill and satisfy with my eating but like my favorite quote says "Far from what I once was, not yet what I am going to be".

I EAT,,,,,,I really really eat!

People ask me all the time things like "do you eat", " what do you eat", "I hope you ARE eating......right".  Insert eyeroll here.  Yes, I eat.  I loved to eat before surgery and I still love to eat.  My eating has just changed for the better.  I PLAN better meals and options.  PLAN being a keyword.  I make better choices and I do not overeat.   I have traded in the constant trips to fast food or restaurants for meals at home.  I pack my lunch for school EVERY SINGLE DAY.  Some days I may eat what is in the lunchroom but only because it is a yummy healthy option or complements what I have brought from home. 

I am 3 months/2 weeks postop today.  That isn't very far out from surgery but I am able to eat much better than I thought I was going to be able to.  I have a lot more options now which means I have to be careful.  I can eat the bad stuff but the difference now is it is A LOT less in regard to the portion and A LOT ALOT less in regard to the frequency.  I just try to keep a healthy balance.  Because I am a "Sleever" I have to keep my protein and nutrients up first and foremost.  I start my PLAN there and decide how I am going to get my protein in everyday.  I almost always start the day with a protein PACKED smoothie or the Special K Protein cereal.  That is it for breakfast right now.  Never been a big breakfast person anyway but this really helps get my tummy full but my nutrients in and energy for my day.

During the work week, I pack a boxed lunch.  It always looks something like this:

This is my lunch for tomorrow and very likely Tuesday as well (doubt I will eat all of that).   The big part of the container is always filled with some sort of fruit and veggies.  For tomorrow I have packed fresh sliced peaches, carrot and celery sticks and Edemame (my FAV).  The Edemame is the protein.  The small container has low fat flavored cheese (Rondele....spelling??).  I will dip the celery and carrots in it.  The other small part of the container has plain greek yogurt (Fage is my fav) and I have mixed in some low sugar orange marmalade.  Another excellent source of protein for me.   My appetite is minimal during the work  day.  I think between drinking coffee and water, having a 10:45 am lunch time and just being busy.....I am not that hungry.  Making lunches like that make it very eat for me to graze throughout the day and not have those empty calorie, high fat and high carb snackies all day. 

There are days I can get things like this from the lunchroom (lots of protein):

 

 

Dinner is harder for me still.  Some nites I do great planning and cooking and actually being able to eat what I cooked.  I am still figuring out what I can and can't eat that would be more "dinner" foods. I have tried red beans and turkey sausage and I didn't like the way it tasted.  Made loaded spaghetti sauce (sauce with TONS of chunky fresh veggies) and it made me sick. I usually just steam some veggies and eat that.  This is one of my fav dishes:  Low Carb BLT.

 

 

I can eat "normal" people food.  I just have to do it in very small portions and not very often.  This is what I had for the Bama game Saturday nite.  This is from my FAV BBQ place called Jim n Nicks.  This little plate ended up being 2 separate meals for me.  Basically when I eat like this.....I make one plate and graze as I am hungry.  This is pulled pork, cole slaw, baked beans.  NO bun.  I did have a few of thier famous onion rings and 2 of their cheese biscuits throughout the whole day.  I drank a lot of water inbetween but didn't exercise.  I had football to watch instead! 

 

 

PS---didn't gain a pound. It is all about portion and balance.  One of the best "diet" programs (Weight Watchers) taught me that it is ok to eat like this sometimes.  It is not ok all the time and it is not ok to overeat like this.  Not ok to overeat ever.  Even your most fit, athletic, healthy people splurge sometimes. 

Excuses.......excuses

Finally weighed this morning.....down a few more pounds for a total of "almost but very close" to 55 pounds!  I am currently 3 months and 1 week post-op surgery for weight loss.  I am super pleased with the progress and happy to see the 180's on the scale this week. 

I only made it to Zumba 1 time this week...and last week.  Not good Ashley but not surprising. However, our regular instructor had a sub and this chic was the Bomb-Diggity Monday nite!!!  She was FABULOUS and super high impact.  I was able to hang right there with her.  I don't think many know what a fabulous feeling that is.  I felt like I belonged there.  Not just there to survive.  We won't talk about how sore I was the next day but how exhilirating that felt.  I just couldn't move to go to class Tuesday nite and had the car (her name is Bon Qui Qui) in the shop for a little TLC Thursday so missed that class.

Zumba is only 3 days a week for this particular class.  That isn't the best deal but it is a start.  Need to work towards a 30 minute per day cardio goal.  This is the one area I struggle the most.....always have.  Especially when I am super busy.  I wish someone would open a Zumba or Dance Cardio studio close by.  Not saying I'd be there every day but at least I wouldn't have an excuse.  I shouldn't have any excuse.  I have the MEGA hoss Bowflex Treadclimber in my office that I have walked on twice in the month I have had it.  Yes, I struggle in the motivation area.  It is a "in a little while", "tomorrow" "soon" thing that I have to work through.  This body and soul is so much better when it gets a little cardio.  I know this....I need to own this. 

I'll have a side of Carbs please......

Miss me? I am alive and still shrinking.  Becoming a healthier person every single minute.  I just haven't weighed in a few days and was at a stall after losing so much over a 2 week period.

I do not stress at all now when I stall.  It is just a natural part of weight loss and usually when it happens, I know why.  I lost a lot right after school started because I was so much more active.  I also started working out with more intensive cardio. Building muscle etc. So, my body hit another "wwwhhoooaaaa hold up" moment and will get over it and begin to lose again.  No worries.

I also have been carb crazy in the past week.  I just have moments where I crave carbs and I totally accept that this is my body's way of  telling me it needs something white and fluffy.  When I have a carb craving it is the same as before surgery.  Crackers, bread, or pasta.  I have tasted a potato chip and it was YUCK.  Felt like I could taste every drip of fat in it.  I try to stick to Wheat Thins or Triscuits if I want a cracker with a salad, meat or snack.  There are tons of flavors now. (Dill Triscuit is my FAV).  I can only eat a few bites of pasta.  Fills me up super fast but satisfying.  All the research indicates whole grain carbs are the way to go.  Beans too.  I eat hummus A LOT!!

I am sure there are some post-bariatirc surgery folks having a STROKE right now reading that I eat carbs.  So.....YES, I eat carbs.  Wait till I tell you what else I have eaten!!! Your body must have carbs to function. This is a medical research based fact that is supported by any doctor I have talked to pre and post-op.   I learned very early on post-surgery that I do not lose weight if I do not include healthy carbs in my diet.  Plus, I never chose to take this path to be healthier to starve myself to be skinny.  I had a friend who had surgery tell me to never ever eat anything bad....ever.  Also said I could be losing a lot more weight.  Like I could lose 12-15 pounds every week.  But, I don't want to.  That is SUPER unhealthy folks!!  I had already decided prior to surgery I did not want to lose tons of weight fast, I did not want to eat only salad and chicken the rest of my life and I did not want to lose hair and have floppy skin because I wasn't healthy.....even if I was skinny. 

If you have followed this blog from the beginning of my journey then you know I did TONS of research on this surgery, weight loss, lifestyle changes etc.  I made decisions based on what is best for ME!! So, this is what works for me and guess what.....I still lose weight, I  feel so amazingly healthy, I have tons of energy and I am doing what my doctor said to do.  If you choose to never ever eat another carb again, good for you and I really do wish you the best.  I'm going to enjoy this ride.....not let it control me!

A BIG secret

The sleeve surgery certainly brings about some major changes in your life.  I have written in depth about most of those.  Eat less, eat healthier, exercise more, no fast food or soda, sweet treats in moderation, more water, less sugar etc etc.  The most surprising and BEST change post-op has been that urge to want to eat all the time.....is GONE!!  No more stress eating, no more overeating, no more desire to destroy myself with food unnecessarily. 

The second most surprising change I realized the past few days.  I no longer want to just shop all the time. Shopping was my hobby.  Could do it anytime, anywhere as long as I was getting cute stuff for good prices.  I look back now and think I was really just buying happiness.....making me feel better being fat in new clothes. Now that I have been forced.....literally forced to shop because I am swimming in my clothes, I really don't love it.  Really don't want to go and spend the time or money shopping.  I think I will LOVE it when I am closer to goal weight.  Right now it is hard to spend money knowing the outfit won't last long. I am buying in 2's right now.  2 pair of jeans, 2 pair of work out pants,  etc.  Survival.

PS......Weighed this morning and I lost 2 more pounds for a total of 52 pounds.  Today is exactly 3 months since surgery day.  52 pounds in 3 months.  Carry on!! 

This weekend I was on a misson to get some new jeans and bras.  I forgot to mention in yesterday's post about the bras.  Close your eyes if this embarasses you but .......I am literally swimming in my bras too.  The tops of the cups of the bras stick out like Batwings or something.  HORRIBLY uncomfortable and I even had a friend tell me they could see the top of the cups sticking out in my shirt.  So, had to get new bras this weekend too.  This meant I really needed to be measured so I could buy things that didn't cause Mt. Everest Batwings sticking out of the top of my shirt. I went to that fancy smancy place that has 6 foot, 100 pound models selling thier overpriced undergarments that men really don't care about anyway.  #1....I felt comfortable being in there today and #2.....I have SHRUNK 2 band sizes smaller than I was pre-op (2 whole band sizes is a huge difference) and #3......everything they brought me fit beautifully.  This is pretty fan-tabulous!!!

The thrifty-nifty chic in me snuck out of that "Secret" place in the mall and ran down to my fav department store to purchase bras that were just as pretty, fit just as well and for 1/3 the cost.  Sorry but since I will lose about 50 more pounds, I wasn't spending $50 on some lycra and wire.  Will go back to shop there when I am 6 feet tall and weigh about 120. 

Research "says".......

As a wee little PhD tot, I was taught that research doesn't say anything.  Research doesn't say or prove.  Research does indicate, suggest, find, etc and this research indicates that my decision to have weight loss surgery was a one step forward to a better quality of life!

American Sociological Association

Weight-loss surgery results in positive changes in social life, medical conditions

DENVER — New research shows that people who have bariatric surgery to treat obesity report an overall improvement in quality of life issues after surgery, from their relationships to their medical conditions. Arizona State University researchers will present their findings at the 107th Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Association.
Obesity is an epidemic in the United States with more than one-third of adults over age 20 classified as obese. Bariatric surgery is an increasingly common procedure that individuals are turning to that typically results in dramatic weight loss—sometimes of 100 pounds or more. According to the American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery, about 220,000 people underwent bariatric surgery in 2009 in the United States, up from about 13,300 procedures in 1998.
The paper, "Social and Health Changes Following Bariatric Surgery," examines how patients who had the surgery fared afterward. The researchers collected data from 213 patients ranging in age from 26 to 73 years old, with an average age of 50, through a self-selected sample of participants in an online support group.
"We thought there would be more negative reactions to the surgery, but the response was very positive," said study co-author Jennie Jacobs Kronenfeld, an ASU School of Social and Family Dynamics professor. "Most people had improvements in chronic health problems."
Health issues that respondents reported improvements in included diabetes, heart disease, cholesterol level, and sleep apnea. Study respondents also cited increased mobility as one of the positive aspects of having surgery to lose weight. Weight loss among participants averaged 95 pounds per person while the range of weight experiences was wide—from a gain of 80 pounds, which is atypical according to the researchers, to a weight loss of 260 pounds.
People who elected to have the surgery to reduce negative reactions to their weight among friends and family reported better relationships after surgery. Respondents also reported a decrease in depression after the surgery.
"This provides evidence that overcoming the stigma of being overweight, as reflected by negative reactions of others, can lead to greater satisfaction among relationships with family and friends, and in social life in general," said Doris A. Palmer, co-author of the paper and a doctoral student in the School of Social and Family Dynamics sociology program at ASU.
Satisfaction with how participants felt about their appearance was lower on average than satisfaction with other aspects after the surgery.
"They were satisfied, but not as pleased about the way they looked as with other aspects of their lives," Kronenfeld said. "They may have hanging skin and those kinds of issues to deal with. It's not clear if most insurance companies will cover treatment of those issues since it may be considered cosmetic."
Researchers asked a variety of questions in the survey that was made available through an online support group for bariatric patients. Study questions examined physical health, self esteem, social life, work life, family life, mobility, and satisfaction with surgery results.
Motivators to have the surgery in order were: to decrease the risk of health problems; to improve overall health; to improve appearance; and to boost self esteem. Respondents also cited the ability to be physically active—for instance, being able to play on the floor with their children if they hadn't been able to manage that in the past when they were larger. Overcoming society's stigma of being overweight was another benefit respondents noted after losing weight.

Breaking up.....with my closet

Hi!  My name is Ashley and I am a clothing addict.  I love cute clothes and shoes. I have a TON of super cute, trendy clothes. Not trying to sound like a big tme fashionista but I have always been complemented on how I dress. That is a flattering comment when you are a chubby girl. I do NOT buy expensive clothes. Well, I should say I do not pay a lot of money for my clothes. Always looking for good deals, bargains, consignment and thrift deals. Love Ebay too! So a lot of time, energy and money went into finding cute clothes for a big body. Hard to see them all go away.....in a weird way.

Here is why I am in such a frustrating place with the clothing:

-I can put my jeans on and take them off with the button and zipper closed. They slide down my hips and butt when I walk. I have to pull on them all day.  Very uncomfortable and do not look professional (can wear jeans 3 days a week at work).  Jeans are meant to fit!

-I LOVE Old Navy pajama pants.  One of my most fav pieces of clothing. I fit (past tense) nicely in a size XL with no problem. Now, the XL swallow me and look like huge clown pants. The tighter I tie the cute little ribbon tie, the bigger the pants look.  Not fun or comfy at all.

-I had a ton of clothes I couldn't wait to wear again.  I had saved several pieces with the anticipation of wearing them again.  I totally blinked and missed the window of opportunity.  Like....overnite.  Like.....frustrated.  There were some clothes, kinda of like that first love you never stop loving, that you want to have just one more chance with.  Well, I didn't get that chance and I have faith that like all other missed opportunities it just wasn't meant to be and I have moved on to "smaller", better clothing relationships!

-I am totally out of wearing any Plus size or XXL clothing. Misses XL tops are getting to be too big for me. I am in about a 14/16 misses right now for pants/jeans. I can wear size large in most of my favorite brands. This is especially fab for dresses. I can wear cute, fitted dresses finally!!  I can wear juniors sized clothing too!  This is really awesome because I still like to try to pull off a few trends every now and then.

-I am a huge southern football fan. Roll Tide and love my Noles!! I have one large drawer in my dresser dedicated to football shirts. At my heavest stage, I was best in men's shirts that had my fav football logo. But, I have about 10 cute girly football shirts. These were too small and not flattering even if I did get them on. I could not wait to be able to wear these this football season. Now......ALL my favorite football shirts are way too big to wear. The cute cute girl cut shirts look like maternity shirts on me. The regular t-shirts look like I am wearing my boyfriend's shirt to sleep in a nite. But they were so cute before! This is TRAGIC!! I am serioulsy stressing.

As much as this is a wonderful place to be, this is an expensive loss and a really expensive replacement cost. I do not want to buy new clothes. I will lose a lot more weight and a ton more inches. I am selling all of my clothes I can no longer wear. I am hoping to have them all sold soon. Will buy enough to get through the fall/winter season. Hopefully by next summer I am pretty much at my goal weight and will have a much better idea what I will be wearing.....forever!!

50 feels FABULOUS!!

What a most fabulous way to start off the month of September!  Football season is here (Roll Tide and Go Noles), the weather is beautiful,  school is in full swing and I may just want to mention that I have officially lost 50 pounds!!!  50 50 50 50 50!!  Fitty!!  Five-0!!  I cannot say it enough.  My goal weight loss is 100 pounds so I have reached my midway point in exactly 3 months (tomorrow is the 3 month date). 

Holy bologna I have lost 50 pounds.  Never in my entire weight loss history have I lost more than 30 pounds.  No matter how hard I worked, I never made it past the 30 mark.  I had my eye on 50 because it made it more real to me.  Not that the whole experience hasn't been real but if you have worked as hard as I have over the past 20 years to lose weight just to quickly plateau or not ever reach successes, you would be a bit skeptical too. 

Initially, I saw the 50 pound goal to be sooooo far away.  I thought I would problebly lose it in a few months.  Again,  I knew I was working hard but didn't expect the big results so quickly.  This is an exciting day. 

Being back at work has made a huge difference.  The inches are literally melting off now that I am up and moving all day. My body is totally changing.  I can see it in the mirror. My face, my thighs, my......everything is totally morphing into the new me.  The cellulite is on a much smaller map!  ha ha

 This is fabulous.....yes.  However, the clothing situation has become a bit frustrating.  My clothes are now falling off of me.  The clothes are getting to a point where they are not flattering to wear at all, somewhat unprofessional looking, and make me look bigger because they swallow me.  It is more frustrating than you would think.  Will post more about that in my next post!  It is too tragic to not discuss.....ha ha! I promised pics when I hit 50 so I will work on getting some side by side shots done this weekend!

Cheers to my big 50 and.......Roll Tide/Go Noles!!